KRISP

15-Jul-2006

Amazing Anti-Smoking message !

POSTED BY : 02:52 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

	loya
	loyachinni@yahoo.com
	Nice pictures good update
	7/15/2006 5:38:47 AM

15-Jul-2006

Funny Photoshop Error !

POSTED BY : 02:23 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

	Shanti Chepuru
	shanti@bitragroup.com
	Nice joke...
	9/23/2008 8:09:57 AM

15-Jul-2006

Nice Pepsi Ad !

POSTED BY : 02:22 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

15-Jul-2006

How to hire the right people

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.

POSTED BY : 02:20 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

15-Jul-2006

The Prescription

A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband!

That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license… They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!”

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband having dinner in a restaurant with pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

“Well, now… You didn’t tell me you had a prescription”.

POSTED BY : 02:19 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

	ashok
	c_ashokvishnu@yahoo.com
	thanks.i smiled after a long time for a long time
	7/4/2007 1:24:34 AM

15-Jul-2006

Letter to HR

To HR Department,

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Bob is an individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

classified as a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

executed as soon as possible.

Regards,

Project Leader

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:

Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines for my assessment.

Regards,

Project Leader

POSTED BY : 02:18 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

15-Jul-2006

Corporate - 3 stars

I am a huge fan of the Madhur Bhandarkar school of film making... but Corporate did not really work for me.

The Madhur formula is simple: take a 'strong' female character, provide a peek into a hitherto unseen but interesting world, expose its seamy underbelly. Treat the audience with intelligence; they can live with the fact that a film - like real life - need not have a happy ending.

'Corporate' stays true to all this but fails for two reasons:

1. The world Madhur has chosen to 'depicted is not as mysterious or interesting as the world of bar dancers or Page 3 personalities.

Besides, we've seen power and money hungry businessmen on screen before. And venal politicians for sure. This time they sit in gleaming glass buildings and are outfitted by Allen Solly. But overall the film looks like it was made by putting together 'leftover' ideas and characters from Page 3.

2. The bigger issue is the central character - senior Vice President Nishigandha Dasgupta, played by Bipasha Basu. She starts off as this ambitious, I-can-hold-my-own-in-a-male-dominated-world kind of character. But as time goes by, she wimps out completely in the name of love.

For these reasons I don't think 'Corporate' will be a hugely impactful film - critically or commercially. But it's still worth watching because, yes, it has many good moments. And in sum, it's decently made.

Of course, like a Hollywood production, you'll have to pay a bit of attention to figure out who's who. There are a lot of characters, and kaun kis camp ka hai takes a bit of time to digest.

'Corporate' is about the rivalry between 'Sahgal group of industries' and 'Marwah group of industries'. Both groups are bidding for a PSU which the government has put up for sale. Both woo a creepy looking politician called Gulab Rao who is stupendous in the film.

I loved the way he bellows into his cellphone "I am at a 'charity function'" when he's actually cavorting with item girls :). And the manner in which the tender is rigged feels like it came out of genuine research.

But a lot of other things do not ring true. Do senior VPs meet with secretaries in juice shops to learn of their rival's secrets? Chalo, maybe. But hiring a hooker to access a rival's room and steal data from his laptop? Maybe they should add a module called 'spy vs spy' for MBAs!

The film picks up steam in the second half. Sahgals launch the 'mint based sft drink' that Marwah was planning to. And another dose of 'reality' the pesticide in cola controversy is brought into the picture. The film makes a point about how 'issues' are actually used by business rivals to screw each other. That both media and NGOs can be easily manipulated.

Sahgal (played by Rajat Kapoor) is the suave and suited first-gen entrepreneur, with a more 'professional' management style. But Marwah (Raj Babbar) as the more traditionally rooted businessman is more interesting as a character study. His dependence on a 'bapu' for advice on all personal and professional matters is a nice touch.

Kaykay plays Ritesh, Sahgal's brother in law and Bipasha's love interest. He is required to act angsty and tortured and does that job pretty well. Harsh Chhaya as Sahgal's right hand man is very good. Minissha Lamba - never noticed her before - is rather sweet as a young manager. Lilette Dubey as a high class 'madam' (the kind who goes to the gym and interviews celebrities on TV!) plays her part to perfection.

I wish Madhur had not chosen 'colas' as the product that the two companies went to war for. Because that is a category where 'Sahgals' and 'Marwahs' slugging it out jars you. After all it's only Pepsi vs Coke today - both multinationals.

We do see a 'gora' in the form of a taklu called Steve who is Sahgal's JV partner, but I think the battle could very well have been over some other product where Indian companies reign - like mobile phones.

And this is an important point because Madhur always tries to present a 'slice of life' in his films so we expect less of creative license. I think he chose colas because around the time the script was written the 'pesticide in cola' controversy was at its peak. And so it was convenient.

As per the 'Page 3' formula humour and occassional insight is provided by the office peons and security guards.

"Jo kaam ek aadmi kar sakta hai... jab 50 log table par baith kar karte hain.. aur kharaab karte hain - usey Corporate kehte hain".

POSTED BY : 02:14 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

15-Jul-2006

Krrish vs Superman

For the first time in film history, we are seeing a cultural clash of epic proportions. 'Krrish' - the Indian superhero hit theatres today. Superman - the 'imported' superhero hits screens next week.

And the battle is not just at the box office. It's a merchandise war, as well. Krrish dolls, masks, school bags and whatnot have been rolled out, along with the film. Just saw them yesterday at the local mall.

Also on shelves - though in a different shop - were Super man action figures and allied merchandise.

Both are 'made in China' - the Superman stuff is a little classier but Krrish merchandise more affordable. You can buy 'official' Krrish toys for as low as Rs 99. Now if Krrish is a hit - which I think it will be - you can be sure, the stuff will sell. It will sell a lot. I can already picture pester power at work in my home!

Mummy, mujhe chahiye!
Indian movie makers have tried merchandising but never with so much conviction. We saw Kareena's wardrobe from Main Prem ki Deewani hoon retailing at Pantaloons (which flopped as badly as the film!). We saw the Hum Tum characters on bags and pencil boxes but that was grey market ka maal.

Now, Yashraj is making a tentative foray into merchandising with items like a 'trendy ceramic mug' sporting autographed pics of Aamir and Kajol. And a Fanaa 'mirchi' pendant. But sorry, I don't see things like that selling like hotcakes.

The most successful merchandising is a child-centric and unfortunately the average Bollywood film is not. Krrish may get panned by critics or laughed at by teens (if the s/fx don't live upto expectation!). But kids will watch it. And they will think Hrithik is cool because they have no historical superman-spiderman baggage.

Kids are a unique franchise Hrithik has created with his squeaky clean image, dancing abilities and of course 'Koi Mil Gaya'. A film which was more than inspired by Steven Spielberg's E.T. but won your heart anyways. Will Krrish live up to that legacy?

Well, I have yet to see the film but its makers get a 9 out of 10 from me for a very well orchestrated marketing effort.

I mean they've even got the Singapore Tourism Board promoting their city to fans who wish to see 'shooting kahan hui'. That's what I call globalisation!

The icing on the cake would be a sequel to Krrish, where Superman makes a guest appearance :)

POSTED BY : 02:11 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

01-Jul-2006

Soccer(Football) laws

Overview of the Laws
There are seventeen Laws in the official Laws of the Game. The same Laws are designed to apply to all levels of football, although certain modifications for groups such as juniors, seniors or women are permitted. The Laws are often framed in broad terms, which allow flexibility in their application depending on the nature of the game. In addition to the seventeen Laws, numerous IFAB decisions and other directives contribute to the regulation of football. The Laws can be found on the official FIFA website
Players, equipment and officials
Each team consists of a maximum of eleven players (excluding substitutes), one of whom must be the goalkeeper. Competition rules may state a minimum number of players required to constitute a team; this is usually seven. Goalkeepers are the only players allowed to play the ball with their hands or arms, but they are only allowed to do so within the penalty area in front of their own goal. Though there are a variety of positions in which the outfield (non-goalkeeper) players are strategically placed by a manager or coach, these positions are not defined or required by the Laws.

The basic equipment players are required to wear includes a shirt, shorts, socks, footwear and adequate shin guards. Players are forbidden to wear or use anything that is dangerous to themselves or another player (including jewellery or watches). The goalkeeper must wear clothing that is easily distinguishable from that worn by the other players and the match officials.

A number of players may be replaced by substitutes during the course of the game. The maximum number of substitutions permitted in most competitive international and domestic league games is three, though the number permitted may be varied in other leagues or in friendly matches. Common reasons for a substitution include injury, tiredness, ineffectiveness, a tactical switch, or as a defensive ploy to use up a little time at the end of a finely poised game. In standard adult matches, a player who has been substituted may not take further part in the match.

A game is officiated by a referee, who has "full authority to enforce the Laws of the Game in connection with the match to which he has been appointed" (Law 5), and whose decisions are final. The referee is assisted by two assistant referees. In many high-level games there is also a fourth official, who assists the referee and may replace another official should the need arise.

Due to the original formulation of the Laws in England and the early supremacy of the four British football associations within IFAB, the standard dimensions of a football pitch were originally expressed in imperial units. The Laws now express dimensions with approximate metric equivalents (followed by traditional units in brackets), though popular use tends to continue to use traditional units.

The length of the rectangular field (pitch) specified for international adult matches is in the range 100-110m (110-120 yards) and the width is in the range 65-75m (70-80 yards). Fields for non-international matches may be 100-130 yards length and 50-100 yards in width. The longer boundary lines are touchlines or sidelines, while the shorter boundaries (on which the goals are placed) are goal lines. On the goal line at each end of the field a rectangular goal is centred. The inner edges of the vertical goal posts must be 8 yards (7.32m) apart, and the lower edge of the horizontal crossbar supported by the goal posts must be 8 feet (2.44m) above the ground. Nets are usually placed behind the goal, but are not required by the Laws.

In front of each goal is an area of the field known as the penalty area (colloquially "penalty box", "18 yard box" or simply "the box"). This area is marked by the goal-line, two lines starting on the goal-line 18 yards (16.5m) from the goalposts and extending 18 yards into the pitch perpendicular to the goal-line, and a line joining them. This area has a number of functions, the most prominent being to mark where the goalkeeper may handle the ball and where a penal foul by a defender becomes punishable by a penalty kick.

The field has other field markings and defined areas; these are described in the main article above.

Duration and tie-breaking methods
A standard adult football match consists of two periods of 45 minutes each, known as halves. There is usually a 15-minute "half-time". The end of the match is known as full-time.

The referee is the official timekeeper for the match, and may make an allowance for time lost through substitutions, injured players requiring attention, or other stoppages. This added time is commonly referred to as stoppage time or injury time. The amount of time is at the sole discretion of the referee, and the referee alone signals when the match has been completed. In matches where a fourth official is appointed, towards the end of the half the referee will signal how many minutes remain to be played, and the fourth official then signals this to players and spectators by holding up a board showing this number.

In league competitions games may end in a draw, but in some knockout competitions if a game is tied at the end of regulation time it may go into extra time, which consists of two further 15-minute periods. If the score is still tied after extra time, some competitions allow the use of penalty shootouts (known officially in the Laws of the Game as "kicks from the penalty mark") to determine which team will progress to the next stage of the tournament. Goals scored during extra time periods count towards the final score of the game, but kicks from the penalty mark are only used to decide the team that progresses to the next part of the tournament (with goals scored in a penalty shootout not making up part of the final score).

Competitions held over two legs (in which each team plays at home once) may use the away goals rule to attempt to determine which team progresses in the event of an equal aggregate scoreline. If the result is still equal following this calculation kicks from the penalty mark are usually required, though some competitions may require a tied game to be replayed.

In the late 1990s, the IFAB experimented with ways of making matches more likely to end without requiring a penalty shootout, which was often seen as an undesirable way to end a match. These involved rules ending a game in extra time early, either when the first goal in extra time was scored (golden goal), or if one team held a lead at the end of the first period of extra time (silver goal). Golden goal was used at the World Cup in 1998 (France) and 2002 (Japan-South Korea). The first World Cup game decided by a golden goal was France's victory over Paraguay in 1998. In the 1996 European Championships Germany was the first nation to score a golden goal in a major competition, beating Czech Republic in the final. Silver goal was used in Euro 2004 (Portugal). Both these experiments have been discontinued by IFAB.

Ball in and out of play
Main article: Ball in and out of play
Under the Laws, the two basic states of play during a game are ball in play and ball out of play. From the beginning of each playing period with a kick-off (a set kick from the centre-spot by one team) until the end of the playing period, the ball is in play at all times, except when either the ball leaves the field of play, or play is stopped by the referee. When the ball becomes out of play, play is restarted by one of eight restart methods, the method used depending on the reason for the ball going out of play.

Kick-off: following a goal by the opposing team, or to begin each period of play.
Throw-in: when the ball has wholly crossed the touchline; awarded to opposing team to that which last touched the ball.
Goal kick: when the ball has wholly crossed the goal line without a goal having been scored and having last been touched by an attacker; awarded to defending team.
Corner kick: when the ball has wholly crossed the goal line without a goal having been scored and having last been touched by a defender; awarded to attacking team.
Indirect free kick: awarded to the opposing team following "non-penal" fouls, certain technical infringements, or when play is stopped to caution/send-off an opponent without a specific foul having occurred.
Direct free kick: awarded to fouled team following certain listed "penal" fouls.
Penalty kick: awarded to the fouled team following a "penal" foul occurring in their opponent's penalty area.
Dropped-ball: occurs when the referee has stopped play for any other reason (e.g., a serious injury to a player, interference by an external party, or a ball becoming defective). This restart is uncommon in adult games.

Fouls and misconduct

A foul occurs when a player commits a specific offence listed in the Laws of the Game when the ball is in play. The offences that constitute a foul are listed in Law 12. Handling the ball, tripping an opponent, or pushing an opponent, are examples of "penal fouls", punishable by a direct free kick or penalty kick depending on where the offence occurred. Other fouls are punishable by an indirect free kick.

The referee may punish a player or substitute's misconduct by a caution (yellow card) or sending-off (red card). Misconduct may occur at any time, and while the offences that constitute misconduct are listed, the definitions are broad. In particular, the offence of "unsporting behaviour" may be used to deal with most events that violate the spirit of the game, even if they are not listed as specific offences.

Rather than stopping play, the referee may allow play to continue when its continuation will benefit the team against which an offence has been committed. This is known as "playing an advantage". The referee may "call back" play and penalise the original offence if the anticipated advantage does not ensue within a short period of time, typically taken to be four to five seconds. Even if an offence is not penalised because the referee plays an advantage, the offender may still be sanctioned for any associated misconduct at the next stoppage of play.

Offside

The offside law effectively limits the ability of attacking players to remain forward (i.e. closer to the opponent's goal-line) of both the ball and the second-last defending player

POSTED BY : 06:03 AM | VIEW COMMENTS | ADD COMMENT

Comments

	praghna
	praghna@gmail.com
	good article.......its marvelous and intresting
	8/6/2007 7:13:41 AM

	krishP
	krishna.padala@gmail.com
	NO iam not a football player, but i am a great spectator of soccer.
	7/1/2006 6:19:38 AM

	vinod
	vnod111@yahoo.com
	Interesting laws , krishna thank you re for such a detailed writeup, are u a professional football player
	7/1/2006 6:16:21 AM

ABOUT ME

krishna padala
hyderabad

LINKS

•